Wizard's Work
by beajizz
Summary: Based on a request I got on Tumblr. Ash is in trouble, and he needs his Marcy to set him free of the spell. Mostly Marceline, but contains Bubbline/Sugarless Gum fluff.


"Bonnie, what the _lump_ is that?" You point to a vile looking creature in the corner, about two hand spans long, length-wise. It's covered in patches of black amongst dark grey fur and a small tuft of white hangs over its snout.

"That would be a single _rattus rattus_, Marceline, more commonly known as a black rat." The princess shows her discomfort at the size of it, and its presence in her kitchen in general, as her grip on your arm tightens.

"Yeah, well it's ugly as hell. How should I get rid of it? Send it to the Nightosphere, maybe?" You rub your hands together at the thought of summoning the death portal to rid the princess' castle of the filthy beast.

"Marceline, no. I do not condone animal abuse. Besides, it looks sick, look at the fur; it's rather patchy. Perhaps I could run tests on it to cure it."

"Gross. Bonnie, you want that thing in your lab? What if it's got like, diseases or whatever? It could be a survivor of the Mushroom War and the last thing I want is for you to be exposed to any of that radiation garbage." You're stern with her about stuff like this; you don't want her getting hurt for the sake of _science._

"Oh, but you're a survivor of the Mushroom War, are you not? And look how exposed I am to you." She smiles sweetly even as her underlying tone drips with suggestiveness.

You sigh. _Bonnibel gets what Bonnibel wants_. "You can do whatever you want to it, but I get to send it to the Nightosphere when you're done, take it or leave it."

"Then what's the point in testing it at all if you're going to kill it regardless?" She frowns adorably.

"Don't argue with me Bonnie, do you really want that thing hanging around your place when you're done with it, knowing you were the one who helped it get better? I want it as far away from here, and from you, as possible, it's giving me weird vibes."

She purses her lips. "Fine, but for the record, I had no part in it. I refuse to be involved in your sacrificial rituals." She pouts and you smile widely as you kiss her. You hear the rat squeak softly.

"Let's get this over with." You telepathically pick it up before waving it around like a flag and asking, "Ugh, do you at least have a cage or something?"

* * *

The princess has been in her lab for almost two hours before you decide to go check up on her.

"Did you find anything?" You frankly don't care about the damn thing, but you'll ask for her amusement.

"I took multiple blood samples that are currently finishing being processed over there," you don't look to where she points, "and right now, I'm looking at a few strands of his fur."

"_His_ fur?"

"Oh yes, I have confirmed his gender to be male," she answers and you growl, "however, his fur samples prove to be quite interesting."

"What makes you say that?" You float closer to Bonnibel and you see the rat skitter over to the bars of the cage closest to you.

"Well, the deoxyribonucleic acid in his fur seems to indicate that there are significantly less 'Animalia' based cells in comparison to the number of 'Sapien' based cells in its molecular structure. To even call him a proper animal would be a complete misconception," the princess states matter-of-factly.

"You lost me at 'well', babe."

She sighs before giving you a simpler answer. "His DNA contains more 'Sapien' based cells, which pertain to but are not entirely exclusive to 'human-like' cells," she looks at you as if she should continue or try to start over, but you nod at her understandingly, "than it does 'Animalia' based cells."

"So you're saying this thing," you point to it, "isn't entirely animal?"

"It might not be animal at all, Marcy. His DNA confirms that it's mostly human hair covering his body."

"Wow, that sounds _really_ disgusting." Even in your bat or wolf form, you at least manage to transform yourself into the animal's basic characteristics, and that included getting the fur right. You imagine your regular long, black hair covering every inch of you and you shiver. "So is it sick or what?"

Something makes a dinging noise. "Ah! There we go." The princess stands and makes her way over to the table with the blood tests. "Huh, well that's strange." She walks back towards you, eyeing the paper she's holding curiously. "To answer your questions based on these results, no, he isn't sick. It could just be part of his genus if he really is a rat. _However_, the blood tests do also confirm that he is indeed not an animal. His red blood cells do indicate that they are able to transfer oxygen to and from his lungs as they appear to have hemoglobin, a metalloproteinase that assists in the transport of-" She sees the look of bewilderment plastered on your face, as if she thinks it's just as easy for you to grasp scientific knowledge as she does. She smiles softly and finishes, "His blood is as similar to what yours used to be as it is to mine."

You blink in utter confusion.

_What?_

This rat, this _thing_ in front of you turns out _not_ to be a rat, so is it human? Is it human-_like_? Like myself, or like Bonnie? Is it a shape shifter? Is this another one of Finn and Jake's stupid pranks? _I'll kill them_, you think. And yet, you already feel acquainted to it, like you've known it in a past century or two.

You level your face with the cage and the rat stares back at you with its beady eyes. In the distance, you hear the kingdom's bell tower go off at the new hour's coming. Both your ears and the rat's perk up at the noise, yours mainly out of habit.

Just when you think it can't possibly make itself any more annoying, the stupid thing wobbles clumsily on its hind legs and manages to pat its own abdomen with its two front paws.

"Oh, look Bonnie, it's already been taught to do tricks."

"What does it want?" Bonnibel inquires. "Is it hungry?" She too is eyeing it carefully.

You stay quiet for a moment, feeling that gesture to be oddly familiar. "No… Don't feed him." Your glare intensifies as it continues to pat itself dumbly. "Bonnie, what time is it?"

You hear rustling beside you but your eyes don't leave the rat. "8 o'clock," Bonnibel answers as she checks her watch.

Your eye literally twitches as the rat continues to squeak delightedly at you. Your fists clench so tightly that your fingers feel like they might just break against your palms. You swallow hard and bitterly.

Bonnibel notices the way the rat is entranced by your presence. "Do you want to name him? He seems to take a liking to you." She nuzzles her face against yours. "Do I have competition from a local rat?"

You continue to glare at it, until you feeling a wave of odd familiarity wash over you; a sensation that starts at the top of your head and tingles you all the way down to the tips of your toes. "Name it?" The rat is trying to jump at you, still patting its stomach.

"Him. Name _him,_" Bonnibel corrects you.

Then it clicks.

The globdamn thing is shaking with excitement. It knows you've got it._ He_ knows you've got it. You finally understand what the hell it's doing here.

"_Name him_," you repeat for emphasis, loud enough for him to hear. Your smirk widens a great deal and you think it might just split your face in two if it goes any further.

You recognize this to be the doing of a very powerful wizard. More importantly though, the pieces of tonight's puzzle fit in your mind's eye; much to your utter disdain, you recognize the persona of the rat. You know exactly what he wants. He's bounded by spell and he needs you to free him but to put it simply: he's using you _again._

He's overjoyed at your realization and you know that if he were his regular form, he would say something along the very condescending lines of, _"It's about time, you're such an airhead."_

He races around the cage frantically, scattering wood shavings all over your girlfriend's lab bench. "You've got a lot of nerve coming here, you dick," you whisper under your breath, mostly to yourself but you hope he hears it too.

"What was that, Marcy? Did you decide on a name?" You'll fill Bonnie in on it later.

"Actually, yeah, I've got the perfect name for him." You guide Bonnibel safely over to the side before chanting something in another language. A fiery entrance breaks the floor open in front of you, separating you from the rat. Your eyes are filled with fire as you float over to pick up the cage before staring directly into his soul. He's frozen under your gaze and you can practically smell the fear reeking off his body. You grin menacingly.

"_Trash_."


End file.
